i swear i'll write more

I PROMISE.

<3, nitt.

overwhelmed much

If I ever existed in a state where I was not overwhelmed, I think that'd be a momentous occasion.

ERRRRGH

it's been way too damn long

I should be writing about a study abroad opportunity, doing a website, doing something, but I can't stop thinking and I need a place to write it all out. Hey blog. Here you go.

I'm more than halfway through my time here and that's really scary. I don't know. I don't want to leave. This place has done more for me than I could ever imagine. Being around people who care about me has been awesome, and honestly, I don't know what's in store for me in the future. I just kind of want to freeze time where I am right now. I have too much to do, but through it all, I'm seeing the beauty in this situation. Or trying very hard to.

I'm going to try to compress all my thoughts into one thing here:
- I need to finish all my work, so I'm gonna get off of this soon--and that's no different from usual. I have too much work to just sit back and enjoy my life sometimes. I don't know if I like being this busy all the time. Actually, I do. The answer is obviously no.
- I'm really worried about a friend of mine--but that's no different from usual. I just want you to believe in yourself because you're so amazing and I want you to see that. I pick my friends carefully and I wouldn't be friends with you otherwise. Not like you read this anyways, but true all the same.
- Squawk. LAWLZ. My phone has seen so much use lately. That's really out of the ordinary. Maybe I'm finally softening up. Whatev that means. Muahaha.
- Rawwwwr rawwwwr panda.
- Yes, I'm about the most coherent person you'll ever meet. Ain't that the truth.
- I don't know how much I want to deal with you.
- I wish I could just enjoy myself more. Is that such a crime? Responsibility is a bit much for what I can really do at the moment.

Freakin' hell, this sounds so schizoid. That is my mindstate, I guess.

i just experienced democracy

Nothing can really compare to being at the convention.

Sure, there's tons of sleepless nights, crazy-hack audiovisual stuff (on my end, anyways), and a ridiculous amount of WTF going on. ALL THE TIME.

It's a crazy thing, though. And it's amazing to see so many people, believing in what's going on, and wanting to make change. I think it's crazy.

Of course, through working the convention, you definitely see that change isn't easy--nothing worth it ever is.

To be continued.

after a long hiatus

I am going to write in this again.

So much, so much stuff has freakin' happened and I haven't catalogued any of it, and knowing my really crap-ass memory, I should really really try to remember it.

Suffice to say, I have kick-ass friends. I am freakin' lucky. And there's nothing like a conversation with a good friend that re-energizes me.

And I will be going to the Democratic National Convention next week.

What the hell.

Things are going so well. I'm really happy.

that's really nice

Rockville Central: POTD: Extreme!

I lived in Lincoln Park, Rockville last summer. Nice little neighborhood, historically black, and I was told by several people I was crazy for living there. I think it really showed me what being a local staffer might be like though--living outside of the city, commuting in, walking through suburbia to get to the urban jungle that is DC, all that craziness. I thought it was a really good experience, and I really wouldn't mind living there at all.

Which is why it's so nice to see things like this. SO FRAWESOME.

take me anywhere

I spent the weekend being ridiculous in general.

Friday, some interesting stuff happened and I spent the majority of the day sleeping. Just because I could, and I had to. On Saturday, went to Wheaton Plaza (HAHHAHAA) on the Red Line and laughed at the largest escalator in the Western Hemisphere. Sunday, Folklife Festival craziness and fun.

And now here I am at work. Hmmmm. I want to go exploring. I want an adventure that doesn't involve me trying to scrounge up $10,000. I want everything to be okay. I know it will be, but there's just too much tension.

I will be strong.

somnambulating

Since I can't sleep, I'm going to go to work now.

I'm going to take pictures of my commute. I've been meaning to take pictures of the crap I do in like a "day in the life of Nitt" thing, but I've never EVER gotten around to it.

Might as well start now, right?

i know this

One of my friends asked me today--if I could do it over again, would I still pick Claremont McKenna over Berkeley or Stanford, considering the type of experiences I've had at the college?

I know now the answer has to be yes. It has to. There's no other way.

I've gotten a thicker skin, I've gotten much stronger. I've proven to myself that I'm a survivor, and things that mean the world to others mean absolutely jack to me because I know that things are trivial and that they too will pass and that there are other things to worry about. Like being alive and taking every moment and making sure that you do something with each moment that you actually want to do--because you never get a chance to do that moment over. One chance, one life, one shot. I'm proud of who I am for once (in my adult life--sorry Michelle Obama) and I think that is something I need to think about.

Because sitting around and being self-satisfied is too easy.

i will use this more often

But--between the DOT, graphic design, and chilling with the frawesomest roommates ever, it's hard to find time. Brrrrrb.

By the way, apapipeline.org has been absorbing all my time.

i swear i'll start using my camera again

What exactly have I been up to in this city?

Nice question. I work at the Department of Transportation, do volunteer stuff for the Asian Pacific American Institute for Congressional Studies, am currently under the auspices of OCA (another APA advocacy org), and am freelancing my graphic and web design skills to whoever wants them. I also think of starting a graphic design business/portfolio thing from time to time, and am going to go through with it by the end of the summer. (I guess at the happy hour on Wednesday, I am also continuing to be a masseuse.) Hopefully, no bouncering-of-parties where girls want to pee in the elevator this time around. (how classy)

I'm also attempting to recover from Claremont and get myself back, and I gotta say it's great to be here. Something interesting's happened almost every day I've been here, from dinners with friends and nice conversations about how to take over the Hill and job opportunities and other tasty things like that.

I just need to take more photos so that I can actually remember all this, I think. Hahaha.

i'm soooo graceful, call me miss swan

On the first day on the job, I managed to spill a bunch of chili in the DOT kitchen. WOOOOHOOOO I'M SO GRACEFUL YOU SHOULD GIVE ME GIRL HAIR AND CALL ME KRISTI YAMAGUCHI. (no, don't do that, that would be an insult to her forrealz)

Yet, people liked me better because of it. I tried to clean up what I could of it with a bunch of napkins, and I guess people saw that and one lady came up to me afterwards and was like "you know, you're a nice man for doing that. Most people woulda just walked away."

Which lends itself to the fact that if people in government would actually clean up after their own mistakes once in a while, we wouldn't have as many issues. Hmmmmm. I WONDER WHY. Take responsibility for yourself, kiddos. Please.

Spent the day at a conference about the Air Transit Access Act. I actually thought it was quite interesting, but then again, I'm that much of a transit geek. Talking about regulations regarding codeshares was actually really cool. It's going to be interesting to see if this affects how the airline alliances do anything because I know there's some hella disparate service and hella dissent (especially from the EU airlines).

And I got my new laptop. Thank goodness. Gratuitous webcam test.

humanity reloaded

Traveling makes you realize things about yourself.

After being turned down at KramerBooks because we all couldn't sit at one table together (because I'm not 21, daaaaaamn) yeaaaah, that kinda sucked. I was kinda bummed about the whole 21-thing, mostly because I really like hanging out with these people. I started walking home and then I decided to, on a whim, duck into the Walgreens on 23rd and N, about a block away from my apartment.

I met Keith O'Donnell there.

He's no politician, he's no student, hell, he's not even my age, but in his own right he's important, just like everyone else is. Nope, he's homeless. And he was trying to scrounge up $10.56 to pay for some food at Walgreens. I felt something inside of me I haven't felt for a while, and I decided to just swipe my card and be done with it. Had a conversation and I was on my way. Before I left, I asked him his name.

I remember when I was begging for money in Greyhound stations people would just give you money so you'd go away. No one wanted to hear your story. I wasn't about to let that happen again. That's why I talk to people the way I do, I realize. I want to hear their stories. I want to hear your story. It's common dignity. We're social creatures, as awkward as some of us can be--and being desocialized, dehumanized, and deconstructed leaves you broke-down and dead. It's scary how much just being called by your name can do for you, by the way. I know this.

I hope Keith's okay. If I see him around again, I'll try to help him out and see what else I can do. Street smarts tell me he's no addict, he's genuinely in a tough situation. One much worse than mine, for all I complain about.

I'm lucky. And I'm sucking all that poison out. I ain't no fuckin' robot, and I can never be. Thanks.

people here talk amazing

It's only been a little while since I've gotten here, but already I remember part of why I love this place. The people here crack me up.

- lady at Bed, Bath, and Beyond: "Y'all be buying these lint rollers like y'all gonna have a rolling party! Back in my day, when we had a rolling party, it wasn't with these!"
^ I will invite this woman to whatever parties I have in the future. Rolling or not.

And no, the APAICS office still doesn't have that many windows. Therefore, my amazing bosses have installed this fake window. It's kinda bad-ass. Just sayin'. It's like you're in the islands, but you're not, because you're in the ISLAND OF NON-PROFIT DOMINATION. to the maxx unlimited. The APAICS interns come in on June 9. Since I know one of them, and three of them are supposedly already cool, this should be hilar. We shall see.

My roommates and apartment kick serious ass, by the way. But I knew they would, so that's not really a surprise.

figured i should make this

Besides writing the sporadic... like, FREAKISHLY sporadic Facebook posts I do, I figure I should have a place to store exactly what's happening to me in my year away from Claremont.

So, here we go. Frawesome Self-Indulgence. It is a bloooog. It'll be amazing. You know it. Mostly things about me and the random (and ridic) experiences I'll have. Wheeee! I might post some "LAWLZ WTFRK" stuff sometimes that I laugh at, so I guess if you like my style of random, twisted, strangely-vapid-yet-somewhat-intelligent humor, well, there you go.

Useless post. I just wanted to say I started this blog as I turned 20. Some actual substantive stuff, that'll show up later.

Tentative Sched--Probably Gonna Change, It's Nitt, After All
SoCal (Claremont, do your worst) --> Until May 18th
NorCal (you can take the kid from the Bay, but never the Bay from the kid) --> May 18th - May 28th
DC (my second home, work it out) --> May 28th - December 22nd
Random Flux Time (uhhhh you figure that out) --> December 22nd - January 11th
Beijing (ACC China--AKA ChineseBootCamp of Randomness) --> January 11th - April 27th
Various Asia (backpacking on the cheap, general messiness, I PROMISE I'LL COME BACK ALIVE) -- After April 27th

Wooot.